I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
