so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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