My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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