I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
