Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
