Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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