so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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