If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
