Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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