sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
