so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
