Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
