the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
