i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
