i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
