Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
