Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
