I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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