I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
