i don't like sucking hair
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
