yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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