Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
