i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
