3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
