Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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