Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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