Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i drank out of a bidet.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
