Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
