My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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