I've blown a few things in my day
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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