dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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