i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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