Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
