You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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