so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
