Im at strip club and am horny
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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