just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
sex in a hospital.. check
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
