I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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