If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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