it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
