were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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