You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
