Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
