Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
