I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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