Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
