Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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