So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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