He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think i got beer on your cat.
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