I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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