Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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