we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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