It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
